Making up words: uncovering "open face"

A new lexicon for love.

We have a thing called “open face”, Mohato and I. It’s a solution we created to a problem we also created. The problem is this: we’re both terrible at times. A more kind reading would be: we’re both good at doing a bait and switch with the truth.

Here’s what I mean: we have a squabble, I get angry at Mohato because he failed to reply to my texts all day, for example. When we talk about the missed texts, Mohato will likely apologize and say he was busy with work or that he somehow missed them. If the apology doesn’t land well, I might say something about how the texts could have been very important. I might say this in quite a smug tone. On the surface, and this is exactly where the problem lies, the surface, it seems like an honest conversation. Cause and reasonable effect. And here’s where it gets tricky — it is kinda — however, it’s not “open face”.

What I mean is that it might be true that a very important text might have been missed, however, the real reason I was upset was probably something more childlike and embarrassing (wanting attention when I want it) so I chose what I’ve read

Haley Nahman

call a “logical cover story”. Something that protects my reputation to myself while presenting an approximate of my concerns so that they might be solved without me having to be “open face” and admit the real real truth, however unflattering.

The challenge with not being open-faced is that I often don't realize I'm obfuscating the truth. I tend to believe my own reasonable explanation because its reasonableness is even convincing to me. Yes! I do text important things! However, what is logical is not necessarily what is accurate as we all know when it comes to feelings.

Here’s what Mohato had to say when I told him I was trying to explain how tricky being open face can be: “You have to do a bit of work because a million things can be true at once, but really only one thing can be the cause.”

Even attempting to create a lexicon of our own has in and of itself improved our relationship. The Inuit have 50 words for snow because snow is important to them. We need more words to try to understand our relationships because it is important to us.